In March when I was feeling down and sad – I couldn’t quite figure out why. I would look at my old house (now my parents home) and watch them remodel the kitchen. I would cry – even though I knew it really wasn’t about the kitchen…I just wasn’t sure what it was.
One day I was trying to express myself to my mother, and she told me that I was homesick. Homesick?!!? Really??
I was with my family – my sweet wonderful hubby, my fun and interesting little girls, and occasionally I got to see my parents beyond the packing, sorting, moving, and remodeling.
She then reminded me that I had put 6 long years of hard work, dreams, and my life into my home. I had been able to see it as a dark, dirty, in serious need of repair house with lots of potential and change it into a light, airy, comfortable, inviting place. I had created a space for me…oddly enough at the kitchen table (but this was not about food, lol).
I had taken out a big window that was broken and rotten and replaced it with a large sliding glass door. The table was in front of the door. The kitchen walls were a light green with white trim and curtains. Doesn’t sound like anything out of the ordinary, right?
Well, the door opened onto the patio that we had covered and filled with a bench and table, surrounded by tons of luchly growing flowers. I had hung some hummingbird feeders which were quite popular with 3 or 4 little birds. The yard then went out a ways and up a hill.
On the hill we had placed a bird feeder and a bird bath, along with more flowers. I had left the overgrowth in the fence as a place for birds to feel safe and to give us more privacy. It was a popular place with lots of birds…woodpeckers, bluebirds, blue jays, cardinals, sparrows, and lots more. There were squirrels, rabbits, turtles, frogs, raccoons, possums, and other little neat things like those awesome yellow and black spiders that get really big and make those cool webs with the zigzag down the middle.
Every afternoon and during lunch I would sit at the table with my book and read and watch outside. I would enjoy it and feel refreshed. It was my favorite place in the whole house.
Now don’t get me wrong – my new house is nice. It is bigger than my old one. It has more space (in theory, lol) and the kids are happier with that. The basement opens onto a patio…and the kitchen door now opens onto a wooden deck that is one flight above ground. It is a nice yard…big garden and some flower beds with perennials in them. But my view from the kitchen window is too high for seeing any of that. All I can see from the kitchen is the store roof across the street and a few tree tops.
Mom was right. I was homesick. I desperately missed my peaceful, quiet, nature-filled lunches and afternoon moments.
Sometimes the Lord uses mothers to help us to see and understand – to put things into perspective. I did miss my old routines, my old house…but with understanding came acceptance and the desire and determination to make my new house into MY HOME – where we are together as family: looking forward to and working on our eternal relationships with each other and our Savior.